


Nightmare

by temporaryistemporary



Series: Sanders Sides Mario AU [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Deceit is only mentioned, Hurt/Comfort, If there’s anything else I need to tag let me know, M/M, Panic Attacks, hes not actually there, mario au, unless you count the nightmare part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 13:35:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17245181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/temporaryistemporary/pseuds/temporaryistemporary
Summary: Based on an ask about sugarglider9603’s Mario au about Bowceit kidnapping Roman, Patton, and Logan and forcing Virgil to choose between them.—————————————Virgil just didn’t understand why they wouldn’t hate him really. He had pretty much abandoned them, hadn’t he? They should hate him. He did.





	Nightmare

_**“Just choose one.”** _

_He couldn’t._

_**“It’s your choice…”** _

_Was it?_

_**“Choose quickly.”** _

_Please stop._

_**“…it’s your decision.”** _

_It really wasn’t._

_**“It’s all on you.”** _

_Why?_

_**“…really it’s your fault.”** _

_It always was._

_**“Whatever you decide…”** _

_But why did he have to?_

_**“Hurry.”** _

_He needed time._

_**“It’s not that hard.”** _

_Maybe it wasn’t._

_“Virgil.”_

_Logan._

_“Virgil!”_

_Logan!_  
————————————————  
He couldn’t breathe. Fuck, why couldn’t he breathe?

“Virgil, can you hear me?” Logan, thank god.

“I need to breathe with me Virge.” He was trying, thank you very much. “4-7-8, remember? Let’s try together.”

They went through the excerises a couple times (and by they he meant Logan did them perfectly, while Virgil had a less than stellar time trying and failing to catch his breath) before Virgil could actually get some air into his lungs. He blinked his eyes open, vision swimming for a moment. When it finally cleared he could see Logan, Roman, and Patton all staring at him with looks of concern. Roman even went so far as to place a hand on his cheek.

“Are you alright, love?”

Obviously not. Not that Virgil would admit it out loud. Instead, he slowly nodded his head. “I will be.”

Patton hummed softly. “That’s not what he asked.”

“Indeed,” Logan agreed, “We are aware that, with help, you will be fine in the future. However, we are concerned with your current state of mind. So I will ask again. Are you ok?”

Virgil stared for a moment, expression blank. The others glanced at each other, even more concerned. Then a sob burst out from Virgil, then another, and then he was leaning against his brothers chest and he couldn’t breathe again. He was crying so hard he could already feel a migraine coming on. He was shaking like a leaf, cracking, and falling apart at the seams. He couldn’t tell what the others were doing at first (were they uncomfortable, did they want him to stop, to go away, did they just want him gone, for good, because he did too), but he sure as hell nearly jumped out of his own skin when he felt it.

There was a hand rubbing up and down his back, methodical and calm. Another hand was in his hair, lovingly caressing the messy locks. Yet another hand rested softly on his shoulder, it’s owner whispering words of encouragement to him. He was calming down again, little by little. His very being felt like it was being put back to together, piece by piece. His head felt less like it was filled with cotton and regret and whatever else, and more like fresh air, and free thoughts, and love. It was good, if only for a moment.

“Are you back with us, my dear?” Roman again. But why was he still here? Why did he still want to be around Virgil? Virgil who didn’t even-

“What are you talking about kiddo?” Patton interrupted. Oh, had he said some of that out loud? Shit. “Why wouldn’t we be here? Where else would we be?”

“Far away from me,” Virgil whispered before he could stop himself.

Logan pulled Virgil away from where he had buried himself in his brothers chest and Virgil nearly whined. Well, here we go. This is what Virgil wanted. It’s what he deserved.

“And just why would we do that?” Asked Logan, eyes feeling like daggers.

Virgil could think of many reasons. He was worthless. A coward. He couldn’t do anything right. He followed Logan around like a lost puppy because he couldn’t trust himself to be alone and Logan was all he had left. Bowceit knew it. The people of both kingdoms knew it. Hell, he was sure Logan himself knew it too. Worst of all though…

Virgil was selfish.

He didn’t care. He was willing to choose his own brother over the rulers of two very important kingdoms simply for the fact that Virgil was lonely. And he knew if he picked Patton that he would mourn for Logan every day, and so would Virgil. If he picked Roman, he would hate Virgil for leaving Patton with Bowceit and Virgil would hate himself more than he already does for leaving Logan and disappointing Roman. Logan was the only option, in Virgil’s eyes. He had to. He was his brother and Virgil would be lost without him and Virgil hated himself so much for that.

He knew the second Bowceit had forced the decision onto Virgil who he was going to pick, too. He had drug it out though. Because he couldn’t just say it outright. And god Virgil was the just the worst. Faking how hard of a choice it had been. Because it wasn’t. Not for Virgil. It wasn’t because Logan was there. Logan was there and Virgil couldn’t lose Logan too. Not like they had lost their parents.

Virgil hadn’t even realized he was sobbing again. Curled in on himself, knees to his chest and head in his hands, flinching when one of the others tried to touch him. Too wrapped up in his own thoughts to see the looks traded over his head.

Patton and Roman had never seen him like this. Sure, Virgil had had panic attacks in front of them. And nightmares too. But they were never this bad. They had never caused a reaction like this, like he was dying. Like something inside him has just broken.

Logan had seen this though. Too many times to count. Too many late nights after their parents had died, reassuring his twin he wouldn’t leave him too. Too many times Virgil had done something he thought would make Logan mad, make Logan abandon him. Logan knew. And it broke his heart to see his brother like this again. After having seen Virgil go so long without a breakdown like this. Oh, Logan was pissed (not at Virgil, never at Virgil). There was going to be hell to pay when Logan saw Bowceit again. He was going to punch that snake faced bastard into next week. Now wasn’t the time though, not with Virgil still in the state he was in. Revenge could wait until after his brother was better.

“Virgil,” Logan called softly, “Virge?”

Virgil’s breathe hitched but gave no other indication that he was listening. Logan knew he was though. So he continued.

“You know none of this is your fault, right?” Logan could feel Patton and Roman snap their heads to look at him but kept talking, “We’re not mad at you Virge. You did the right thing.”

Another soft gasp left Virgil’s mouth. His shoulders shook as he tried to hold in his cries. Slowly, and very cautiously, he looked up at Logan. His cheeks and nose were red and tears poured down his face, but he looked Logan dead in the eye, vulnerable and questioning. Roman seemed to realize what Logan was talking about and his own breathe hitched.

“Honey, of course we’re not mad,” Roman said, slowly reaching a hand out again, giving Virgil enough time to pull away, and brushed his fingers against Virgil’s cheek, wiping away some tears. His own voice was watery and trembled with raw emotion. “We understand your decision, and we would never fault you for it.”

That was all it took for Virgil, who practically launched himself at Roman, crying and gripping Roman’s night shirt as tight as he could. Logan looked on with tears in his eyes and Roman let of a couple of his own begin to fall. Patton watched, uncertain of what exactly this was all about before his eyes widened, realization washing over his face.

“Oh dear,” Patton whispered, and Virgil carefully peeled his face away from Roman’s shirt, barely turning to look at Patton out of the corner of his eye. “Kiddo, you thought we were mad about you rescuing Logan from Bowceit instead of one of us?”

Virgil’s eyes slid away from Patton’s face to look at the bed they were currently sitting on. He had frozen for a moment and then nodded once. Patton swallowed a sob and leaned forward a bit.

“Can I give you a hug?”

Patton could see Virgil stiffen in Roman’s arms and waited patiently for the anxious plumber to calm down again. Finally, Virgil nodded again. Patton slowly scooted toward the two, and then wrapped his arms securely around both Roman and Virgil.

“We will never be mad at you for something like that. It wasn’t your fault. That was all on Bowceit for taking us in the first place and forcing you to choose between us. It wasn’t fair for you.”

Logan cleared his throat and the three hugging looked over at him. “This is indeed correct. We had no voluntary part in what Bowceit did to us so none of us are at fault for this. No matter how much he may attempt to say otherwise.”

“Yes,” Roman agreed, “We were all just pawns in whatever twisted game Bowceit was trying to play. You’re choice was probably the best outcome we could have had, Virgil. You choosing Logan meant having the both of you free to defeat Bowceit and save us. You made an absolutely wonderful decision, my love.”

Virgil had thankfully stopped sobbing then, only a few tears escaping. He hadn’t thought of it like that. But he supposed him choosing to free Logan had allowed for them to have an easier time to fight back. He had actually…helped. Virgil sighed and closed his eyes, much more relaxed and content to just stay here.

Patton, however, was not. Three of the four people present were together in a cuddle pile except for the one that Patton really wanted to snuggle up to. And that simply would not do.

A tug at his sleeve alerted Logan to a pair of eyes that were now pointed at him. Patton was staring at him with what Logan could only describe as “puppy eyes”, pleading with him to join in the impromptu cuddle session. Logan sighed but resigned himself to his fate, worming himself between Patton and Virgil. His back rested against Patton’s chest, his boyfriends arm thrown around his middle, facing Virgil so he could keep on eye on him in case his brother happened to need him.

He always would.


End file.
